( Sorry it has been so ridiculously long since i have posted!!)
I look around me and I see so many girls obsessed with the idea of getting and having a man. In a way they are saying they are not complete if they do not have a man attached to their arm. Why do you feel like you have to work so hard to get noticed? Maybe I am just old fashioned, but it was my understanding that guys are supposed to pursue girls and not the complete opposite. I feel like I have no reason to go out of my way to talk to a guy. If someone was interested in me, LET HIM BE INTERESTED in me. I am just sick and tired of seeing girls throw themselves at boys. It is ridiculous and if I was the man I would never want a girl who threw herself at me. I can understand healthy flirting; ( :D ) but that is completely different from being in complete and total desperation.
Recently I have discovered, (this may shock you, so brace yourselves) that I am really not in a hurry to tie the knot. Not to say I never want to. But I am just not desperate whatsoever. I am completely fine with waiting for the Lords will for me. Life is not all about only finding a guy. Who knows, I may never get one. If we, girls, spend our lives pursuing boys where does that leave room to pursue God? If I am putting my everything in God, then that’s it HE WOULD BE MY EVERYTHING! I am complete in God. He should be my all and my one driving force. If He was my everything I would not feel the need (and I do not feel this need) to flirt with and pursue every good looking man that comes along.
I see girls doing this; obsessing over some guy that may or may not ever make a move towards them. What then? I obsess over a man for 6 months and he never asks me out (or to court me or date me or whatever) then I have just wasted 6 months of my life!! Not to mention the trauma I would undergo when I see that man go off and marry some other woman. Maybe if these girls made God their entire focus He would bless them with a man. However, you can’t just focus on God with that goal in mind because then you are not really focusing on God. I say if you are really living your life for Him and cultivating your personal relationship in Him then the rest wouldn’t matter.
I remember talking to my sister Kimberly maybe a year after she was married. (For all my readers who don’t know, my sister married later in her 20s; much to her chagrin.) She told me, that no matter what, if we put our everything in to the man, finding a man ect, he will always disappoint. He is human obviously. Her point was that GOD WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT US. Obsessing over boys I think can be dangerous. They will not fulfill everything. Only a relationship with Christ will. I reckon this all does sound like I am saying, “I DON’T NEED A MAN,” however, that really isn’t the point of this. I am merely saying that I will not throw myself at any man, because if that is what it takes to get one then I would rather be single.I do not feel as though I have to work for love. I refuse to stoop to that level. I want to use my time focusing on God… Not obsessing and being desperate to find a man. If it is in Gods will for me to be married why should I stress over it?
Okay soapbox over.
Just thinking
Love always
Holly Dee <3
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
You lift my feet off the ground, Spin me around. You make me crazier. Feels like I'm falling… I’m lost in your eyes.
(This is going to be exceptionally long….)
Relationships…..
Since everyone around me (My family members and friends) are either married, in a relationship (Boyfriend girlfriend.. ish), or looking to be in one, I realized that I really wanted to write my thoughts\( dare we say) desires concerning this matter… I also realize that, for me, this is a very delicate subject and must be approached with much care and gentle attention.
You know those couples who, at first sight, are believed to be “OH A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.” Those ones that seem absolutely and totally perfect for each other; The ones that on Sunday mornings during church are so sweet and caring towards each other. They make a point never to fight in company. There is always a knowing of what the other person needs and connection between the two, even across a room. You know when you can see it in their eyes that they belong to each other. But not only that… there is an undercurrent of passion that when I witness it, I know those two could never possibly live one day without seeing the other, hearing the other ones voice, kissing, or holding each other. I love being a witness to THAT in couples.
Then, there are the other couples you see… That at first glance, my first thought is, “Now…why are they together again?” They fight, they don’t get along, and they are sarcastic and rude to each other. (I understand a certain kind of jarring all in fun sarcasm.. but it is the downright rude kind of sarcasm that you think might erupt into an all out brawl if people weren’t present,) those that seem to be miserable all the time and those that bring out the worst in the other.
I will never be the latter…
And I realize that this maybe a perceived as a childish view of ridiculous proportions. And I know very well that “The perfect man” does not exist. Because our heavenly Father is the only perfect one. I know a man, being human, will always disappoint. (And I am not picking on you men out there. I hope this doesn’t sound like that.) But the truth is, hand crafted by God, there is perfect. I mean, there is perfect for me.
Somewhere out there, there is my better half. Someone who will bring out the best in me, understand me, and love me passionately with the entirety of his heart. Love should never fail… And if it is true love (a phrase I don’t throw around lightly) it never will fail.
“Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; its flashes are the flashes of fire, the very flame of the lord. Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it; if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised.”
That is what love is supposed to be. Love is a picture of Christ and His bride the church.
Someday… if I am lucky... I will one day be a reflection of that love. When I get that chance I will never let it slip. I will grasp it, and hold onto it with all that I have. I will love with every fiber of my being.
But alas.. until then... I wont just sit around waiting with a "someday my prince will come," mentality. I will busy myself and ready myself to be the greatest most amazing someones one and only.
“I WONDER by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den?
'Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be;
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.
And now good-morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone;
Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown ;
Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one.
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die.”
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”
Just thinking...
Love always,
Holly Dee
Relationships…..
Since everyone around me (My family members and friends) are either married, in a relationship (Boyfriend girlfriend.. ish), or looking to be in one, I realized that I really wanted to write my thoughts\( dare we say) desires concerning this matter… I also realize that, for me, this is a very delicate subject and must be approached with much care and gentle attention.
You know those couples who, at first sight, are believed to be “OH A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.” Those ones that seem absolutely and totally perfect for each other; The ones that on Sunday mornings during church are so sweet and caring towards each other. They make a point never to fight in company. There is always a knowing of what the other person needs and connection between the two, even across a room. You know when you can see it in their eyes that they belong to each other. But not only that… there is an undercurrent of passion that when I witness it, I know those two could never possibly live one day without seeing the other, hearing the other ones voice, kissing, or holding each other. I love being a witness to THAT in couples.
Then, there are the other couples you see… That at first glance, my first thought is, “Now…why are they together again?” They fight, they don’t get along, and they are sarcastic and rude to each other. (I understand a certain kind of jarring all in fun sarcasm.. but it is the downright rude kind of sarcasm that you think might erupt into an all out brawl if people weren’t present,) those that seem to be miserable all the time and those that bring out the worst in the other.
I will never be the latter…
And I realize that this maybe a perceived as a childish view of ridiculous proportions. And I know very well that “The perfect man” does not exist. Because our heavenly Father is the only perfect one. I know a man, being human, will always disappoint. (And I am not picking on you men out there. I hope this doesn’t sound like that.) But the truth is, hand crafted by God, there is perfect. I mean, there is perfect for me.
Somewhere out there, there is my better half. Someone who will bring out the best in me, understand me, and love me passionately with the entirety of his heart. Love should never fail… And if it is true love (a phrase I don’t throw around lightly) it never will fail.
“Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; its flashes are the flashes of fire, the very flame of the lord. Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it; if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised.”
That is what love is supposed to be. Love is a picture of Christ and His bride the church.
Someday… if I am lucky... I will one day be a reflection of that love. When I get that chance I will never let it slip. I will grasp it, and hold onto it with all that I have. I will love with every fiber of my being.
But alas.. until then... I wont just sit around waiting with a "someday my prince will come," mentality. I will busy myself and ready myself to be the greatest most amazing someones one and only.
“I WONDER by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den?
'Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be;
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.
And now good-morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone;
Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown ;
Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one.
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die.”
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”
Just thinking...
Love always,
Holly Dee
Heart Of My Own Heart, Whatever Befall, Still Be My Vision, O Ruler Of All.
( I am posting this a week late folks… my bad..)
Its funny how my church will always address the things I need to hear.
All last week I was struggling with a few things spiritually. By the time I got to church I was rather angry and nothing was pleasing me. When i sat down in my seat...I was utterly convicted about my attitude.
I realized part of the reason I had been having bad thoughts, bad attitudes, angry outbursts, was simply because I had barely read the scripture the week before. My pastor opened up the sermon talking about the need for being in the word. He was encouraging us all to read through the bible in 2010. Or at least the books we had never read before. He encouraged us all to have a plan. Instead up just to sit down and go “ah well what should I read today..” while all bible reading is good (obviously) he wanted us to read and become familiar with all the things we had never gone through before.
Mr. Nelson stated that he knew some people had not even opened their bibles since the last church service… I may have once or twice, but not enough to grow me in my spiritual life, or to ward off the flaming arrows of the devil. I decided instead of sitting down and devoting time to God I would just live in the flesh. (Not a good plan btw)
I think all of us have this problem…“Oh.. I will be alive for a while yet.. I will save the growing up for later.” I have said it many times and I will say it again. LIFE IS SHORT! I have seen so many people’s lives vanish right before my eyes. Life is not something you can hold onto. It’s something that must be taken seriously. “..Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” We cant ever save growing up for “later.”
Growing has to be a constant and ever present fact of our existence. Christ needs to be first in every one of our lives. I want to be able to say, "Thou and thou only first in my heart." And being in the word every single day makes it so much easier to follow the straight path of righteousness.
So my plan is to read the last few chapters of Deuteronomy and to read through the rest of the whole Old Testament. (Along with reading the proverbs through every month. At the end of this year. I want to have read through the proverbs 12 times.) I want to have every book of the old testament read; and not just read but digested and applied.
Growing up and learning by no means implies that there is no fun to be had. ( Come on its me.. fun and drama is never far away when im around ;)For me, I just realize that there is a need for recognition of responsibility. I have things to live up to; I have my own standards that I do not at all measure near towards. Then of course there are Gods standards. By which scale I fail every moment.
Just thinking
Love always.
Holly
Its funny how my church will always address the things I need to hear.
All last week I was struggling with a few things spiritually. By the time I got to church I was rather angry and nothing was pleasing me. When i sat down in my seat...I was utterly convicted about my attitude.
I realized part of the reason I had been having bad thoughts, bad attitudes, angry outbursts, was simply because I had barely read the scripture the week before. My pastor opened up the sermon talking about the need for being in the word. He was encouraging us all to read through the bible in 2010. Or at least the books we had never read before. He encouraged us all to have a plan. Instead up just to sit down and go “ah well what should I read today..” while all bible reading is good (obviously) he wanted us to read and become familiar with all the things we had never gone through before.
Mr. Nelson stated that he knew some people had not even opened their bibles since the last church service… I may have once or twice, but not enough to grow me in my spiritual life, or to ward off the flaming arrows of the devil. I decided instead of sitting down and devoting time to God I would just live in the flesh. (Not a good plan btw)
I think all of us have this problem…“Oh.. I will be alive for a while yet.. I will save the growing up for later.” I have said it many times and I will say it again. LIFE IS SHORT! I have seen so many people’s lives vanish right before my eyes. Life is not something you can hold onto. It’s something that must be taken seriously. “..Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” We cant ever save growing up for “later.”
Growing has to be a constant and ever present fact of our existence. Christ needs to be first in every one of our lives. I want to be able to say, "Thou and thou only first in my heart." And being in the word every single day makes it so much easier to follow the straight path of righteousness.
So my plan is to read the last few chapters of Deuteronomy and to read through the rest of the whole Old Testament. (Along with reading the proverbs through every month. At the end of this year. I want to have read through the proverbs 12 times.) I want to have every book of the old testament read; and not just read but digested and applied.
Growing up and learning by no means implies that there is no fun to be had. ( Come on its me.. fun and drama is never far away when im around ;)For me, I just realize that there is a need for recognition of responsibility. I have things to live up to; I have my own standards that I do not at all measure near towards. Then of course there are Gods standards. By which scale I fail every moment.
Just thinking
Love always.
Holly
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