Its a choice to stay.. its a dream and I wanna wake.

Good news! My grandpa seems to be doing a little better; The doctors took him off the ventilator :) I hope the Lord means this to draw him to believe.. I hope so. I miss my MOM!!!!! I cant wait for her to come home. but i am glad she is doing good there and being support for my grandma and my aunts. I would covet your continued prayers.

Ahh I had a fantabulous day! I got up this morning, and i was so tired!! LONG WEEK!!! I went to school.. which was reallay long. BUT I did totally ACE my music exam. :) i was so HAP HAP HAPPYYY! ( And i saw P-scott in the halls at school! And that made my day haha) Music Class was so hilarious today! Those music guys all make for a good laugh haha. I accidentally (NOT) opened my umbrella in the hall. ( well i was really just showing my freind Antije that is was purple.. she was totally jealous. MUAHAHAHA) but all the dudes in the next class gave me no end of greif of how we were all gonna have bad luck now. They are so weird and a i swear that one dude was totally high.. ..... anywho. it was so funny but apparently now that i tell it... It was a total " had to be there" thing. ..

I got home and i cleaned; worked on music.. I played guitar all afternoon. ( okay i say play, i really mean "try" to play.. haha but i was actually starting to get it.) :) My fingers hurt like death.. but i will prevail and maybe i will have some start up callouses by tomorrow :) I love it so much, it just feels so good to sit down and write music and play.. ahhhhhh HAPPINESS! I cant wait for christmas so i can get a keyboard for my room.. :D My joy would totally be complete haha.
THEN! Oh mann... I had to go to the doctor.. Because i have too many skin issues.. i really dont even wanna say what skin problems i have because it is totally embarassing.. even talking about how i dont want to talk about it is embarassing.. But no matter. The point is they are awful and gross and i cant wait for them to be gone. So i came home with a ton of perscriptions and creams.. blah.. but it better all go away before i get engaged ( better luck next time haha) and have a ring on my finger. i also have swollen lymph nodes.. :( and they hurt. my dad says i am "One mess after another." haha this is so true. So much drama in my little life. haha

My day has ended lovely. Me and dad got pizza and ate it together. Then he helped me with my chords.. :D I love my dad. Watching him play made me miss all the times he used to play john denver in the living room for us. :) And all us sisters would sing. haha i miss it. ITs hard being the last one at home folks!!! Feel my pain! ;)
Sorry this was so long!

Always thinking
Love always

Maggie

My ROOM!

I rearranged my room!!! IT is "loverly." Later today me and dad are gunto hang pictures! It will be amazing when i am through with it! ( btw folks.. next time i have a creative energy boost.. and i want to paint.. remind me to put down more newspaper.. haha...) I have so much homework to do for classes on monday, and if i don't get on it i'm most likely going to die!!!

Always thinking
Love always

Holly Dee :)

WHEEEEEE GLAD THATS OVER!

WHATS UP FOLKS!? Man I am super rejuvenated today! ( could be due to all the coffee :) I love how God gives me hope so easily!!! Well i thinking i failed one of my exams today... haha well not really a "haha" at all. but what can i say, i laugh in spite of myself. I had a creative burst of energy today and last night. last night i did music stuff... ya know the usual. :P it was super. AND then today, i got home from class and decided to PAINT! and i have been all afternoon. :) ( ill let you know how it goes haha.) Of course it isnt what you expect.. however, most all art forms have to be learned.. SPEAKING OF WHICH!! I have REpicked up the piano.. and i am getting a guitar in the fall, or as soon as i find one i like. I am so excited about it :) i could just sit at the piano for hours and not be bored!! ( well maybe after hours haha) And a guitar has always felt so good in my hands, ( even tho... i cant play it yet :P ) and i cant WAITT to get some EPIC (!!!!!!) Callouses! It should be pretttty SAWEET! Anywhoo... im gonna go finish.. i have blue paint alllll over my fingers.. and now all over my laptop Natasha.. haha :P

Always thinking
Love always

Holly Dee :)

"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives?'

Well folks I'm bummed.. First off.. I am so sorry that some of my posts have been DISMAL at best. However, i have just been struggling with so much lately.. I would love everyone to continue to pray for me.. For healed relationships, and for direction for me.

My dearest friend Lenna is moving to Cali for a year, so she can teach in a school there. I am happy for her, i encouraged her to go myself.. but i am sad for her to go. The reality that she might not come back is a daunting one. I'm glad she feels like she is doing what God is calling her to do. I wish we all had that good of direction in our lives. ( but i guess some of us have to work into our future) I suppose it is mighty selfish.. but i just hate losing people. We all know this. I can say it a million times. I guess maybe God is talking everyone away because He is calling me closer to Him. In my heart i know that that is the best place to be.. It is that gettin' there that is the hard part. If only i didn't depend on other people so much..
I catch myself thinking.. life would be so different if i had not made as many mistakes as i have. Maybe Kelsey would still be here. I know it was not my fault that my best friend was taken.. but i know god took Lyndie specifically to teach me something.. and i am still learning from her death today.
"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart..."

The scene is over
A draft on the cutting room floor.
The time has come
Summer days and blue sunsets
it's enough.
"Did you hear that?"
It's the music calling..
She smiled, I laughed. We sang, we danced, we made memories.

A late summer day I can still recall
We had church one Sunday
the last words I said to you?
"I will see you sometime, I love you."
I did not know.. or i would have said all the million things is was thinking

But that day as I walked away
I thanked our god above for sending you my way.
Even though the time was short,
And I did not really get to say goodbye;
At least not the way I would have wanted to had i known all i know now

I miss those lazy days we used to spend,
Lost in our girlish schemes.
Lying on our backs by the river and swinging in your tree.
Smiling because of our secrets,
and laughing because of our dreams..

Will there be life after this?
Can anything be more beautiful?
You believed I was crazy
Well maybe i was
But I still smile every single time I think of you
I promise.. I wont ever let you fade..

Always thinking
Love always

Holly Dee

CHASS

Aww my dearest nephew charlie was born yesterday july 14th 2009. He is beyond adorable and i love him dearly. :) He was 8 pounds 14 ounces and 21 inches long. AND THATS 11 DAYS EARLY!! I am so thankful he was brought into the world well. My sister named him after my dear daddy. Ivy had us all in tears by the time she had finished telling dad.. it was a surprise for him (but we all knew hehe) I got to hold him and i gave him some "kisses cuddles hugs and nuggles." And willies sweetness toward him was so wonderful, he repeatedly stated. " i want to hold small brother!?" The whole family gathered at the hospital and we filled up the tree of caring. :) and as usual "i care the most no matter what anyone else says." haha i always have to put that. :D it was very funn. I missed haveing kelsey there... so i wrote what she put on the tree of careing.. " kelsey cares so much that she wrote this note!" and it made all who read it smile. :) I got to tell chass the gosple today when i went to see him and hold him. He was asleep.. but i will tell him again later. :D i was overcome with joy at how much i am blessed and at the amazingness of my family. I love them all so dearly. I have the greatest family in the whole wide world...

always thinking..
Love always

Hollydee

I Will Praise You In This Storm..

I love too easily.. and people leave too often.. I have been struggling with much lately; and I am trying my hardest to hide it. Because I do not want other people to see me fall and to see me struggle.. I realize that since I am a Christian.. I will suffer greatly for Christs name. The Bible never said being a Christian is easy. In fact, it says we will be persecuted and we will have trials thrown at us. And the truth is.. If i am not suffering for Christs name, something is wrong... And maybe i am not living the way that i should; nor am i living up to what my Lord Jesus has called me to be.. There has been a situation this week which i cant really give details here however, i would covet your prayers. If you know me at all you know that it is hard for me to deal with losing people, and it is hard for me to deal with people hating me.. Ivy always tells me i need to get a thicker skin, and that i need to let things just "roll off" and not bother me. But it is not always that easy.. sometimes the things people do and say stick with you. Some people can just make you feel like nothing .. However, someone once told me.." Holly no creature of Gods is without value." and it is true. God always has a plan, and you can always accomplish things for God.
Please pray for me in the weeks ahead, i started summer school on monday. So my days are very full. Also, countinue to pray for aunt Frannie to get better and for her salvation. I will write again tomorrow with all the news of my small nephew CHARLIE who was born today! Happy birthday Chass!

love always
Holly Dee

Aunt Frannie

AWW! God Is so good! He has provided for me a job! My dear Mrs Fasolino called me up the other day and told me she needed to higher someone to go and take care of her elderly aunt. She lives in an assisted living home, however she needs a lot more care then the assisted living people are going to give her. She has congestive heart faliure and we are pretty sure she does not know the lord. So i get to go and help her with whatever she needs done! It is a realy good job for me and i am very thankful Mrs F thought of me. I need a lot of prayer though! Prayer that i will have the rights words to speak to her, and so i can be able to tell her about jesus. her memory is not very good.. but i know The Lord is powerful enough to overcome that. I have to remember he holds her in his hand and he will open her eyes to the truth if he wishes. Tonight i got the opportunity to tell aunt frannie my testamony and i sang and got to read the bible to her.
I am so very thankful that God is mindful of our needs and Gods timing is always so perfect! Thank you all for the prayers! :)

Holly Dee