"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives?'

Well folks I'm bummed.. First off.. I am so sorry that some of my posts have been DISMAL at best. However, i have just been struggling with so much lately.. I would love everyone to continue to pray for me.. For healed relationships, and for direction for me.

My dearest friend Lenna is moving to Cali for a year, so she can teach in a school there. I am happy for her, i encouraged her to go myself.. but i am sad for her to go. The reality that she might not come back is a daunting one. I'm glad she feels like she is doing what God is calling her to do. I wish we all had that good of direction in our lives. ( but i guess some of us have to work into our future) I suppose it is mighty selfish.. but i just hate losing people. We all know this. I can say it a million times. I guess maybe God is talking everyone away because He is calling me closer to Him. In my heart i know that that is the best place to be.. It is that gettin' there that is the hard part. If only i didn't depend on other people so much..
I catch myself thinking.. life would be so different if i had not made as many mistakes as i have. Maybe Kelsey would still be here. I know it was not my fault that my best friend was taken.. but i know god took Lyndie specifically to teach me something.. and i am still learning from her death today.
"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart..."

The scene is over
A draft on the cutting room floor.
The time has come
Summer days and blue sunsets
it's enough.
"Did you hear that?"
It's the music calling..
She smiled, I laughed. We sang, we danced, we made memories.

A late summer day I can still recall
We had church one Sunday
the last words I said to you?
"I will see you sometime, I love you."
I did not know.. or i would have said all the million things is was thinking

But that day as I walked away
I thanked our god above for sending you my way.
Even though the time was short,
And I did not really get to say goodbye;
At least not the way I would have wanted to had i known all i know now

I miss those lazy days we used to spend,
Lost in our girlish schemes.
Lying on our backs by the river and swinging in your tree.
Smiling because of our secrets,
and laughing because of our dreams..

Will there be life after this?
Can anything be more beautiful?
You believed I was crazy
Well maybe i was
But I still smile every single time I think of you
I promise.. I wont ever let you fade..

Always thinking
Love always

Holly Dee